I want to say a few things this week about preachers, myself in particular, and all preachers generally. These thoughts come from reflection and introspection I’ve done generally over the past 17 years and specifically over the past five or six weeks as to why I keep doing what I do. Maybe these thoughts will help you better understand me. If I’m not your preacher, I hope they help you better relate to your preacher at your church.

First, preachers are weird creatures.

I can’t help but preach. God’s Word burns inside my bones and I can’t NOT preach. I do believe with all my heart and soul, mind and strength, that our God has gifted me to preach his holy Word. He has given me abilities and called me to use those abilities to proclaim his message. So I feel obligated to God to do what I do. I’m compelled by him to do this. I answer to him. Every day. Every sermon. God has put the gift of preaching inside me and I cannot shake it.

I have become a servant of God’s Gospel by the gift of his grace given to me. I thank Christ Jesus our Lord who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service. I was shown mercy so that in me, the very worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.

I know this about myself and our God. I am answering his call to do his work with his gift and by his power. I know it.

At the same time, I do not feel worthy to do what I do. I don’t feel qualified. I feel completely inadequate. I am still nearly petrified every single Sunday by my deficiencies and weakness, by my failings and flaws. The song right before the sermon is almost always the hardest part of my Sunday and the song right after the sermon is the moment I feel the most relief. And then, about ten minutes later,  I am almost always disappointed that my words did not live up to what’s in my heart. Almost every Sunday, I come up way short.

And I keep doing it.

It’s weird.

Peace,

Allan