“I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law–a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household. Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” ~Matthew 10:35-37
Why does our Lord Jesus talk this way about family? Jesus had no problem splitting up family businesses, separating sons from their dads with a (snap) “Follow me.” He told a disciple who had just lost his dad to let the dead bury their own dead and get about the urgent business of the Kingdom.
When Jesus was teaching inside someone’s house, he was informed that his mother and brothers were outside looking for him. “Who are my mother and my brothers,” he asked? Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother!” (Mark 3:31-35)
Why does Jesus talk like this about family? Jesus treats family like he treats money and possessions. He talks about family like he talks about the government and the traditions of men. Why? Because to Jesus, every single thing we hold dear must be submitted to him and his Kingdom. Nothing comes between us and following Christ Jesus. Not even family.
You know, Jesus has this weird knack for harpooning the things we treasure the most. He devalues what we overvalue and calls us to something bigger and better. He points us to something holy and eternal. Like with our families.
We probably put too much emphasis on our biological families. I mean, our natural families are notoriously undependable. Unstable. Unreliable. Our families are divided by ambition and selfishness. Our families are separated by geography and greed. Our families are destroyed by divorce and death. You can’t count on your biological family. Yet, if we’re not careful, we can get drawn into idolizing the family. We get sucked in to prioritizing family over God.
We put our kids in sports camps and sign them up for traveling teams at alarmingly younger ages and at increasingly frantic paces like they’re going to be playing baseball and volleyball their whole lives. Their spiritual formation takes a backseat to their athletic formation. We’re more concerned about our kids being popular and successful than we are about them being like Christ. We’re investing more time and money and energy and emotion into our children and grandchildren than we are into the Kingdom and mission of God.
When we do that, we send the wrong message. We distort the Gospel. We communicate the wrong things inside our families and to everyone who’s watching.
Because not everybody has a family.
There are more and more men, women, and children in this fractured world who grow up without moms and dads. Fewer and fewer people are getting married and having kids. You know lots of people who are single–some because they choose to be and some against their will. Some people have tried to make family work, they’ve tried to keep it all together, but it just doesn’t. They don’t have a family. And we hold up biological family as some kind of spiritual ideal, as something to attain to as one of God’s top priorities, and it’s just not! We wind up excluding more and more people from the Gospel.
“Here are my mother and my brothers!”
Jesus devalues what we overvalue and calls us to something bigger and better. He points us to something holy and eternal.
“As God has said, ‘I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God and they will be my people.’ The Lord Almighty says, ‘I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters.'” ~1 Corinthians 6:16, 18
Jesus is showing us a forever family conceived in God’s love and grace and birthed by his precious blood. God’s eternal family is not based on genetics or DNA or last names, but on his compassion and Christ’s sacrifice. Romans 9 says it’s not the natural children who are God’s children, but the children of the promise. The promise is that God will create an eternal family, where everybody belongs together and everybody’s related–no barriers, no restrictions, no distinctions–where everybody belongs and everybody’s equally loved and nurtured and cared for. That’s the promise. That’s the mission of our God.
When you become a Christian, when you give your whole life over to Jesus, you are joined into God’s family. An eternal people born of water and Spirit, a family bigger and better than your biological family, a worldwide barrier-breaking family where we eat and drink together and share and accept and carry each other’s burdens. Together. Where we rejoice and mourn together. Where we support and encourage and grow and work and bless and love. Together.
“He chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love, he adopted us as his children through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will.” ~Ephesians 1:4-5
If you say “Yes” to being adopted, if you’ll give yourself to it and really embrace the Church as the family of God, it’ll be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.
“I tell you the truth, no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the Gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and fields) and in the age to come, eternal life.” ~Mark 10:29-30
Peace,
Allan
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