Jessica Ono

Tony Romo went to the lockerroom at halftime of yesterday’s loss to the Eagles carrying a quarterback rating that was the same as his jersey number. He finished the game with three interceptions, two fumbles, four sacks, one bruised thumb, and a 22.2 QB rating, the lowest of his brief career. The Cowboys failed to score a touchdown for the first time since November 2004 when a team that finished 6-10 and seemingly started a new quarterback every week lost to the Bengals.

Are you blaming Jessica Simpson?

Is she going to be the Yoko Ono of the Cowboys as I heard someone say this morning? WadePhillips

How much time did Romo have to put in Saturday night and Sunday morning arranging for tickets, transportation, meals, and other stuff related to the game for the Simpson family? Was he trying to show off for his new girlfriend and wound up pressing too hard and blowing it? If he was distracted by her being at the game, what was it specifically?

JessicaSimpsonThe theories are numerous. Did her pink Cowboys jersey offend the football gods? Is spending time with Jessica rubbing off on Romo in a way that’s making him dumber every day? She can’t tell the difference between chicken and tuna. One month with her and he can’t read a tackle-stunt or a corner blitz. Coincidence?

All I know is that the beautiful girl has always brought down the superhero. Everytime a superhero gets in trouble, you can always trace it back to the distraction of a pretty girl. It happened regularly to Indiana Jones. Indy and Superman both spent way too much time and energy trying to rescue the girl who was distracting them from the big picture of what they were supposed to be doing, mainly because she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. In the way. It happened to Batman. It happened to Spiderman. It happened to Frank Drebin.

If it’s not Jessica Simpson, what was it? Romo’s never looked as awful as he looked yesterday. Ryan Leaf never looked as awful as Romo looked yesterday.

There is one other theory out there. And I must give the credit for this one to Norm.

He claims it’s Avery Johnson’s fault.

Avery Johnson, the Dallas Mavericks coach, was also at yesterday’s game, also sitting in a very prominent place at Texas Stadium. And the Cowboys spent all day settling for 3s.

Coincidence?

Peace,

Allan

4 Comments

  1. dbyrnes

    It’s David Glover’s fault. He was in the stands for two games this season, Pats and Eagles.

    Coincidence?

  2. Allan

    I think not!

    With that late-breaking info, I’m going to put some money down on the Magic tonight against the Mavs.

  3. Jenn

    Oh, that is just mean! I think we should blame it on Glover, too! 🙂 Leave the poor, I mean, rich little girl alone…

  4. Rob's Dad

    Two Ticket references in your blog. Careful, you might be coming over to the dark side…

    I’m with George and think she offended the footbal gods.

    Frank Drebin – genius.

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