I don’t know all my sins and shortcomings. I don’t know all the many ways I’m sure I fail as a proclaimer of God’s Word. I’m not aware of every single way I most surely disappoint the people in our church. I don’t know all the variety of things I do and say that are just not enough, things that could be done and said much better by a better person, a guy with more talent, a person better equipped.
But I do know a lot of those things. I am well aware that I fail often, that I disappoint plenty, and that my efforts are usually not enough.
When I’m alone with God in this beautiful 90-year-old chapel at Central, I become acutely aware of my own unworthiness to be in a leadership role with this great and faithful church. Who am I? What am I doing here? I feel incredibly blessed just to be in the middle of these wonderful saints. I feel so privileged that God would let me be a member of this church family. But he’s made me the preacher! What a joke!
Who am I to pray in the presence of this godly group of shepherds? Who am I to lead this incredibly talented and dedicated company of ministers? How can I further inspire this gathering of Christ-minded disciples who for years have been serving and ministering with power and grace throughout this city and around the world?
I have no business being the preacher with these people at this place.
It’s hilarious!
Our Lord proves to me over and over every day that his grace is sufficient. He reminds me every week that his strength is made perfect in our weakness. He continually shows me that he arranges the parts of the body exactly the way he wants them. And he makes it work here at Central.
Thank you, Father, for moving me to Amarillo to be blessed by this faithful body of your children. Thank you, God, for the difficult challenges and the easy lay-ups, for the incredibly high mountains and the devastating valleys, for both the really good times to keep me encouraged and the really tough times to keep me humble. I need all of that. And I need to experience it with a generous, gracious, patient, forgiving, loving community of Christians.
I ask myself often how in the world I ever wound up at Central. And then I fall to my knees in humble gratitude and praise.
Peace,
Allan
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