I believe God calls us to regular and serious self-examination, but my experience with this is that serious self-examination can be both difficult and dangerous. It’s very easy for the enemy to turn my thoughts against me. I avoid silence and solitude–just me and our Lord–because of what gets very quickly revealed about me and my soul. I find it easier to pray about others and minister to others and work harder and produce more than to deal with my own stuff. It’s better when I remember that the enemy is a big fat liar. But I do struggle with this.

Introspection and self-reflection is hard. It can be confusing, maybe even chaotic. Are these gifts from God or is it arrogance? Am I passionate or am I a bully? How mixed are my motives? Am I really making any kind of a difference in our church? Is my own level of discipleship to Jesus too inconsistent to be a preacher? Man, I can get twisted up inside myself pretty fast.

Thomas Chalmers, a 19th century Scottish pastor and theologian compared self-examination to walking into and sitting in a dark room. You can’t see what’s inside the room because the room is dark. So how do you see? How do you brighten the room? Not by straining your eyes or looking harder. Not by sitting longer in the dark and taking more time. Not by squinting. Not by concentrating.

You can’t see yourself more clearly just by focusing more intently on yourself.

Chalmers says you must go to the window and open up the curtains! Let the light of Christ, he says, break into the darkness of whatever’s going on in your soul. And Chalmers says the light is the Word of God.

“If we derive no good from the work of self-examination, because we find that all is confusion and mistiness within, then let us go forth upon the truths which are from without, and these will pour a flood of light into all the mazes and intricacies of your soul, and at length will render that work easy, which before was impossible.”

Self-reflection is difficult and dangerous. Don’t attempt it without soaking in the sunshine of God’s Word. Listen to the voice of the Lord. Learn to look more at Christ than at yourself. You’re not changed by focusing on yourself, but by focusing on Jesus.

God knows the very worst about you, and he still loves you. He does not deal with us according to our sins. He promises that if we confess, he will forgive us and cleanse us and transform us. You must be secure in the love of God for you before any self-examination can be confident or fruitful. Know how precious and honored you are in God’s sight, know the glory of who you are in Jesus, know the guaranteed future you have with God in Christ. Remember that God is for you!

Now.

Now you can identify where God is at work in you. Now you can keep going with the assurance that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion.
Now I can identify where God is at work in me. Now I can keep going with the assurance that he who began a good work in me will bring it to completion.

This post is more about me than you. Let’s both try to be better at this.

Peace,
Allan