The Cowboys finally got around to officially introducing their new head coach yesterday and wound up, as usual, accomplishing the opposite of what they surely intended. Instead of announcing to the world that Brian Schottenheimer has what it takes to end the Cowboys 29-year streak of not winning a divisional playoff game, the longest current streak in the NFC by an astounding 14 years, the team brass declared that nothing’s really that wrong.
Most of what was said in the rambling 70-minute press conference served to highlight how Jerry Wayne gets in the way of any legitimate on-the-field success for the Cowboys. Among the many gems was Jerry doubling down on the debunked assertion that he alone is the “best man” to get the Cowboys to the Super Bowl promised land. He confessed again that he always wanted to be a head coach and hinted that he could be now if he wanted. Delusional.
With the new coach sitting right next to him, Jerry admitted that hiring Schottenheimer “is a less than glamorous choice.” He reminded everyone that Schotty has “no head coaching experience, not even high school!” And he strangely got defensive against the criticism that this is a safe hire, that he doesn’t like to take chances, by declaring that promoting Schottenheimer “is the biggest risk I’ve ever taken in my life.” Again, Schottenheimer was sitting at the same table!
Jerry also compared Schottenheimer to Jimmy Johnson and Barry Switzer, the last guys to win divisional playoff games with Dallas, as coaches who had never done it at the NFL level before Jerry gave them a chance. Yeah, but Jimmy and Switzer had won national championships at the elite college level. It’s not really apples to apples. It’s more like apples to hamsters. Delusional.
The most glaring thing to me during yesterday’s announcement was the answer Jerry gave to the very first question. The Cowboys owner was asked what qualities Schottenheimer possessed that led to his getting the job. Jerry said it was Brian’s ability to defer. He rambled for a couple of minutes about watching Schotty bite his lip to defer to Mike McCarthy, watching him hold back and do it McCarthy’s way when he disagreed and felt like a different way was better. That’s what Jerry admires about the new coach, his ability to defer. In other words, nothing is changing.
The thing that seems to have upset Cowboys fans the most and hilariously amused the media and Cowboy haters was when Stephen Jones was asked about evaluating the state of the Cowboys. He used his right hand to make air quotes when he referred to “this drought that people say we’re in, in terms of a championship game or a Super Bowl.” Air quotes?!? If 29-years without winning a single divisional playoff game isn’t a drought, then we have no idea what that word means. The Cowboys never went more than six years between NFC Championship Game appearances before Jerry bought the team. The Cowboys appeared in twelve NFL or NFC Championship Games under Tex Schramm and Tom Landry. Yes, twenty-nine years counts as a drought! It’s not something the media made up. It’s not a gray area that can be debated. It’s math. And time. It’s numbers and scores and calendars. It’s completely objective. It’s delusional for Stephen to question that or make light of that.
As an aside, Stephen was introduced by the Cowboys PR man yesterday as executive vice president and co-owner of the Cowboys; that’s the first time I’ve ever heard that. When did that happen? Again, more evidence that things are not going to change. With these Cowboys, “owner” means “GM.”
The bottom line is that Jerry hires coaches who have no other options. No other suitors. No other opportunities. Nobody else wants them. They’re thankful for the opportunity and they’re obligated to the man who gave it to them when nobody else would. All of them. Count them, every one of them, from Barry Switzer and Chan Gailey and Jason Garrett to Dave Campo and Bill Parcells and Wade Phillips and Mike McCarthy. And now Schotty. Nothing’s changed.
The only new development is that now a coach with no options has walked away. Mike McCarthy has no other options and he walked away from Jerry Jones and the Cowboys. He’d rather have no job than the one in Frisco. That’s a new development–rather shocking when you think about it. But now everything’s fixed. Jerry knows Schotty’s next-door-neighbor. He talked to Pete Carroll. Dak’s on board. Delusional.
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Look what was waiting for me in the kitchen when I got home after the elders meeting last night: the brand new Blackberry Dr Pepper! And it is really, really good! The berry flavor is very strong, much stronger than what I remember with the old Berries n Cream DP. The smell hit my face as soon as I popped the top. And sweet. It’s very sweet. Delicious! I believe it runs a strong second to the coconut DP they gave us for like three weeks last May. I highly recommend the Blackberry Dr Pepper. Especially after an elders meeting.
Peace,
Allan
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