Category: Carrie-Anne (Page 5 of 14)

Choosing to Hear

Happy San Jacinto Day!

Today was the last day of Carrie-Anne’s “Dirty Dozen,” the name I’ve given to the first stage of her chemotherapy treatments: twelve straight infusions on twelve consecutive Fridays. The cold caps are working – so far, I’ve lost more hair over these twelve weeks than she has. We’re diligently rotating the caps for the full eight hours, keeping them at -30 to -35-degrees below zero, to keep her scalp frozen so the blood won’t carry the poison to her hair follicles. By God’s grace, it’s working. And the side effects have been minimal and short-lived each week.

We’re getting this next week off as a break between the first and second stages of her treatment. Then on May 5, we’ll begin what I’m calling the Final Four: four infusions of what everybody else calls the “Red Devil.” One infusion every other week through June 16. This is what everybody says is going to be the hard part. Evidently the side effects are much worse. Maybe. Maybe not. We’re choosing to be grateful for our Lord’s strength and mercy to us over the past few months and confident in his provision for us going forward.

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Another truth or principle to consider as we engage the topic of hearing God is that a person must choose to hear the Lord’s voice. It’s the most important part of this. You have to make the decision to grow in your desire and your capacity to hear God.

What did you say back when everybody had CB radios? “You got your ears on?” You have to put on your spiritual ears and tune them in.

When you go to church, do you walk into the sanctuary expecting to hear the voice of the Living God? Church is one of the very best times and places to hear God. But you have to make the choice.

“Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen, rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong. Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.” ~Ecclesiastes 5:1-2

When you go to church, God might have something to say, so, as the New Living Translation puts it, “keep your ears open and your mouth shut.” If you’re more comfortable with the King James Version, it says “sitteth down and shutteth up.”

Jesus says, “The one who has ears to hear, let him hear!” God’s choice, his will, is to give you spiritual ears. Your choice is whether or not you’re going to use them.

In Luke 10, Jesus is at Martha’s house. Martha’s running around trying to get dinner ready and Mary is sitting at Jesus’ feet in a posture of listening. Why? Because Jesus is talking!

Martha’s unloading the dishwasher, putting out guest towels, dusting the ceiling fans – she “was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.” She complains to the Lord, “Don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

I think Jesus very gently, but very firmly, tells Martha: “You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

This past week, when did God have your total, complete, undivided attention? How many times this month have you just sat down with Jesus and listened? I know things have to be unloaded and put away and cleaned up and dusted; I know there are things to do. But when’s the last time you chose to listen to God?

Peace,

Allan

In Honor of Kim Scott

Kim Scott probably knows 500 preachers and each of them – all of them! – would have jumped at the chance to do his funeral. That I was the one to officiate that memorial service yesterday in Amarillo is one of the great honors of my life.

In some ways, it was a tough spot. I felt like I needed to tell a bunch of jokes. I felt like Kim would be disappointed if everybody wasn’t laughing the whole time. And you might say, “But it’s a funeral.” And I would say, “But it’s Kim!” The guy died in the church building during a Bible class on Wednesday night! He would want somebody to point out  the humor in that!

So we did. We covered the fact that Kim is right now probably bragging about dying in church on a Wednesday night and how that moves him to the front of the line to get into heaven. We covered the loud neckties and the outrageous family Christmas cards. We talked about Farm & Ranch Shows and Water Board meetings and LCU. We highlighted his sense of humor and his great joy. And I told some jokes. Straight out of Kim’s book.

Did you hear about the big truck that overturned on I-40? It was carrying peanut butter. Jars of peanut butter spilled out everywhere. But it went so well with the traffic jam.

What sound does a limping turkey make?
Wobble, wobble, wobble.

What do you call a cow who just had a baby?
Decaffeinated.

I hear that membership in the Flat Earth Society is falling off.

People who identify as cake are really conscientious; they’re always running around saying, “You want a piece of me?”

I would love to write out all six pages of my eulogy to Kim Scott in this space. Instead, here’s a link to a video of the service. If you want to hear 650 people gut-laughing at a funeral, you might check this out.

On top of presiding over Kim’s funeral, it was a rich blessing to be back in Amarillo. It was great to see so many of the people we ministered with during our ten years there. I got to town early enough to stop by The PARC and hug Shelley’s neck and get caught up with Valerie and see the plans for their new building. I got gas at “my” Toot N Totem and visited with my longtime early morning friends Stacy and Gary and just missed Daniel, who I learned is Stacy’s new assistant manager. I found out the hard way that Burger Bar on Polk Street is now permanently closed so we had to move our lunch with Greg, Steve Nordyke, and the Coopers to the original Blue Sky on Western. (That Blue Sky has crispy fries, which we don’t have at the Blue Sky in Midland!) And I got to spend a couple of hours in that sacred Central church building.

Mixed emotions, man, I’m telling you. Tougher than I thought it would be. And much more of a deep-rooted joy than I anticipated. I thank God for that great church and the years we spent there with those wonderful disciples of Jesus.

And I praise the Lord for Kim Scott. Kim reflects our God’s glory in his kindness and generosity, his patience and grace, his love and great joy. I am a better man, a better follower of Jesus, because of my connection with Kim. I know God better, I see God better, because of Kim. I’m a little ticked off at him right now because he left without saying goodbye – that’s very unlike Kim. But I’m looking forward to seeing him soon. Sooner than I think. And I’ll see if he’ll let me cut in with him in line.

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I made it home last night just in time to change clothes, grab C-A and Whitney, and make it out to the ballpark for the Midland RockHounds home opener. It was a beautiful night, the crowd was energetic, the nachos had a little extra cheese, and the RockHounds gave us a win over the Tulsa Drillers. They were down 3-0 in the first inning before they even got up to bat. But Midland exploded for six runs in the bottom of the seventh to win it 10-8 and maintain their first place position in the Texas League South.

Peace,

Allan

Moist in Houston

It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity. It’s not two ministers walk into a Pappasito’s in Houston, it’s the awkward T-shirts they’re wearing.

Carrie-Anne had an oncology appointment at M.D. Anderson yesterday, a check-up at the halfway point of her chemotherapy treatments, and the highlight of our day was meeting up with our great friend Greg Dowell who’s in Houston this week being treated for his own cancer issues. Greg and I spent ten years together, side by side, ministering to and with the good people at Central Church of Christ in Amarillo and we miss him and his family terribly. He was diagnosed with colon cancer less than a month after Carrie-Anne received her diagnosis and, while our two situations are very different, the timelines have been very similar. Greg is scheduled for a pretty important surgery in Houston this Friday and it just worked out yesterday that we’re both in H-Town at the same time and spent three hours catching up with each other at Pappasito’s.

When I  say catching up, I mean we laughed hysterically for three hours. We mostly just laughed.

I can’t really explain the T-shirts – long story. I can’t really say what we’re laughing so hard about in this picture, either. I’ll just say that Greg Dowell is one of the great blessings and joys in my life. I thank God for our friendship. And I pray that our Lord heals him completely.

As for Carrie-Anne, the appointment yesterday went perfectly. The oncologist assured us that everything seems to be working well, all the counts and markers are where they are supposed to be, and everything’s still very much on schedule. She was surprised to see Carrie-Anne’s hair – all of it! And her fingernails – long and strong and healthy! Those cold caps and frozen gloves are working! After the doctor spent a half hour praising Carrie-Anne for her diet, for her diligence with the vitamins and the cold caps and the rest, for her dedication to doing every single thing they’re telling her to do, she told Carrie-Anne she wanted to take a picture of her and put her on a poster as the perfect example for how someone needs to tackle cancer. That’s when I said, “I just can’t get her to quit smoking!”

I wish you could have seen the doctor’s eyes.

And her face. She didn’t know what to say. Until Carrie-Anne assured her that I was joking. That was pretty funny.

Carrie-Anne and I continue to praise our God for the good people in our lives who are supporting her and loving us through this thing. Thank you so much for your prayers, your texts, your phone calls, your cards, your emails, your hugs, the food – all of it – an undeniable testimony to the way our Lord cares for his people through his people.

Peace,

Allan

Round Seven and Zach Williams

We bought the Zach Williams concert tickets before Carrie-Anne was diagnosed with cancer, before we knew that, when the date rolled around, we’d be in the middle of chemotherapy and cold cap treatments every Friday for twelve straight weeks. When I ran into a friend in the lobby of the Wagner-Noel last night he said, “Didn’t Carrie-Anne have her chemo today? She must be doing really well.” Truthfully, nothing was going to keep her from that show – Zach Williams is by far her favorite artist. And, by the way, she is doing really well.

Yesterday was Round Seven of the sixteen total infusions Carrie-Anne will receive as part of her treatment. And, so far, the side effects have been minimal, if at all. She is generally only having issues with the even-numbered infusions, and that is only some nausea and minor bone and muscle aches that usually begin overnight Friday and run through Sunday afternoon. We met with Dr. Manny on Thursday and all of C-A’s blood tests and lab numbers are perfect. As far as they can tell, everything is working exactly like it’s supposed to. In addition, the cold caps are doing their job, too – she hasn’t lost one strand of hair! The frozen gloves and slippers are also proving effective as her fingernails and toenails are not just holding their own, they’re growing! There is a cumulative effect on her energy we’re noticing. It is taking her a few hours more every week to feel back to normal. But Carrie-Anne is working four days a week and, overall, we both feel very confident and grateful for where we are and how things are going.

As for the concert, Zach Williams always puts on a good show. Four guitars, three horns, keys and drums, background singers, and steel guitar gives the whole thing a really full sound. It’s kind of a Southern Rock / Country sound like Lynyrd Skynyrd meets Dierks Bentley. I like the lyrics to most of his songs – fear really is a liar and we really could use a little more up there down here – and he seems to be a sincerely humble guy who wants to help people connect to our Lord through music. Carrie-Anne and Whitney both know every word to every song and I had a blast just enjoying my wife and my first-born daughter having so much fun.

Near the end of the show, Williams led his band and the whole crowd in a sharing of the communion meal. We were forced to use those terrible little rip ‘n’ sip communion kits, but it was okay. It was really good, in fact. Zach spoke about how the Church has distorted the communion meal, how we’ve conditioned ourselves to be silent and somber during the bread and cup when it was always intended by God to be a time of fellowship and sharing, a time of celebration and praise. At that point, Carrie-Anne leaned over and said, “He’s preaching your sermon.” I know. I was all in. So, Zach encouraged us to consider the Body, to remember the unity we share in Jesus, and to be alright with smiling and celebrating during the meal. And we did. The Body of Christ broken for you. The Blood of Christ given for you.

The only thing missing is for Zach to write a song based on Isaiah 25:6-9 or Exodus 24:8-11. I think I’ll send him a letter.

Peace,

Allan

 

Everything Smaller

Carrie-Anne and I saw the Midland Community Theatre’s production of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Saturday night in support of one of her students from Midland High’s Freshman campus. Ava Young – sweet, gentle, precious, Ava Young – played the role of Veruca Salt, the spoiled and demanding brat from Russia whose father buys her everything. And she played it perfectly. It’s shocking and so really cool to watch somebody act so completely opposite of their character and normal behavior on the stage like that. She said she was nervous; it did not show. She was incredible. Over-the-top. By the time it happened, you wanted her to be pulled apart limb by limb by the oversized squirrels.

This sounds strange, I know, but I have never seen any production of Willy Wonka from start to finish. I’ve never read the original book by Roald Dahl, never seen the Gene Wilder film from 1971, or the Tim Burton / Johnny Depp version from 2005. I thought I was familiar with the plot, but I’ve never seen the movies or the theater productions, so I had no idea it was so richly deep in social critique. I had no clue it was about a capitalist dystopia in which the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. I didn’t know Willy Wonka was the bad guy. I didn’t know the Oompa Loompas were shipped from the jungles of their homeland on false pretenses and forced to work in Wonka’s factory. And forced to abandon their native language for English.

It’s genius. And still very relevant. And scary.

I was especially struck by the song “Vidiots” towards the end of the play, in which Mike Teavee becomes trapped inside the television. In describing television, Wonka declares that it takes the whole big world around us and makes everything smaller. TV makes everything smaller. Including Mike. Including everything. I know the Dahl novel and the movie versions don’t analyze the corrupting effects of the internet on our brains, only the damaging impact by television. But this newer version by Scott Wittman and Marc Shaiman updates the scene and the song to reflect our current society’s addiction to digital technology. The song is about the kids, but it applies to adults, too.

“Vidiots”

He’s like so many nowadays; it’s awfully modern, this malaise.
For every child who threw a fit, the TV set would babysit.
Attention spans have gone pal-mal; there’s only time for L.O.L.
They never step outside to play; their world is dark both night and day.
The skies of blue, of pinks and greens, are only viewed on laptop screens.
They only move and exercise their clicking finger and their thumb;
each brain cell overloads and dies as all their limbs are turning numb.

The age of innocence is gone when certain sites are clicked upon;
the images that they repeat – once in their brain, they can’t delete.
And then like some barbaric Huns, our toddlers are all packing guns.
And children curse and smoke cigars; our nurseries now have prison bars.
They scream and rant and raise their fists and fire their psychiatrists.
We hear them – all the teenage hordes – they scream their battle cry, “We’re bored!”
With all this info at a click, the books will rot upon the shelf;
if all the answers come too quick, a child won’t think for himself.

Each day they text on their new toy their thoughts and their location,
but, O.M.G., will this destroy the art of conversation?
For wasting his entire brain, he’s stuck inside his own domain.
He’ll channel surf ’til, where upon, he’ll find that nothing good is on.
And there is no remote control that he can use to find his soul.
His secrets now are yours and mine, ’cause everything he’s got online.
And who will watch Mike Teavee when there is newer junk to see?

What once was viral, soon forgot.
But hand the clicker to his mom,
his future’s not completely shot,
his new address is Mike-dot-com.

I am ordering the book right now, hopefully an already printed version that still contains the words “fat” and “ugly.”

Peace,

Allan

Round Two in the Books

We flew through Carrie-Anne’s second round of chemotherapy yesterday with no adverse reactions. No pain, no nausea, no issues, no problems – a gracious gift from our God. We arrived at the Allison Cancer Center at a few minutes after 8:00am, met with our doctor and his scheduler, got set up in the infusion room, received the drugs while flipping back and forth between Red Dawn and Friends, and then completed the cold cap rotations in our living room at 6:00pm. This makes for really long days, but we’re surrounded by really great people who are working hard to make this as easy and as pleasant as possible.

Kirsten and Gian in the infusion room are taking excellent care of us,  giving us plenty of space for our ice chests and duffel bags, putting the bed just right, and making jokes when they’re appropriate. Kirsten laughed when I said C-A’s cold gloves and ice goggles make her look like a Sleestak, and I called her on it – she’s way too young to know anything about the Sleestak villains in the 1970s series “Land of the Lost.” But she and Gian are funny and clever and compassionate and make chemotherapy as good as it can possibly be. Dr. Manny and his team are answering all our questions and giving us lots of confidence. The Texas Oncology pharmacists are very friendly and helpful. And our church family at GCR is absolutely flooding us with love and support in the form of delicious meals, prayer visits, phone calls and texts, and more cards and letters than we can even get around to reading.

Another encouraging development is that C-A went to work on Thursday for the first time in six weeks and had a very good day there, too. She worked the full day, everybody treated her really well, including her students, and it really helped restore some normalcy to a significant chunk of her life. As much as she is able, C-A will work four days a week through the rest of the semester and receive her chemotherapy on Fridays.

Saturdays are for recovering and we are certainly taking it easy today. So far, still no nausea or muscle aches or any of the other side effects we’ve been told to watch for. And we are grateful. We are thankful to God for a good day and for the good people around us.

Peace,

Allan

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