During the NFL meetings in March 1994, Jerry Wayne famously said, “Any of 500 coaches could win a Super Bowl with the Cowboys.” Then he parted ways with his back-to-back Super Bowl champion coach, Jimmy Johnson, and hired Barry Switzer off his couch in Norman. When Switzer won Super Bowl XXX with Jimmy’s roster and assistants two seasons later, the owner saw it as vindication of his hubris. But, 29 seasons later, the Cowboys still haven’t even won a single divisional playoff game.
Jerry has now hired his 8th coach since he made that memorable late night / early morning quote to reporters in that Orlando hotel bar. The king of optimizing maximum media attention allowed the news to become official at 9:00 on Friday night, giving us all a clue as to how he himself feels about the hire.
Brian Schottenheimer is a career assistant, spending 24 years in the NFL, mostly as an offensive coordinator. He was brought to Dallas as a consultant in 2022, but Mike McCarthy made him the offensive coordinator the following season when Kellen Moore left for Philly. He never called the plays–that was McCarthy’s job–but he reportedly was key to the team’s record-setting offensive numbers in 2023.
Still, nobody’s ever offered a head coaching job to Schottenheimer. He’s never even interviewed for one. My understanding is that he was only contacted one time in his whole career for a head coaching job, by the Bills in 2010, while he was assisting Rex Ryan with the Jets. Schottenheimer declined the request. That was 15 years ago. Nobody’s looked his way since. And, as we all know, that’s how Jerry works. He only hires head coaches nobody else wants. He’s never been in a bidding war for a head coach. Nobody’s ever lining up to interview the guys Jerry eventually hires. Jerry only hires assistants from within or former head coaches who are currently out of work.
Of course, I have lots of questions. If Schottenheimer is going to run the same offense for Dak’s sake, why didn’t Jerry just stay with McCarthy? Jerry only offered McCarthy a one-year extension, but Schottenheimer is reportedly signing a four-year contract. Is it about money? Jerry is certainly no fan of paying big money for coaches. Was McCarthy becoming a bit too popular in the locker room? Does Jerry believe Schottenheimer is better than McCarthy? Are Cowboys fans to believe that Schottenheimer is going to provide something new? Is he going to be better than McCarthy at game management and clock management in his first year ever as a head coach? Are we to suppose that Schottenheimer has had new and innovative schemes to get the Cowboys over the top, but McCarthy just refused to use them?
I have even more questions about the search process. Evidently Jerry went into the last week of the lost season with no plan. He completely missed the bye week window to interview the two hottest coaching commodities, Aaron Glenn and Ben Johnson. And he wouldn’t wait three more days to interview them after the conference championship games tomorrow? He never talked to Mike Vrabel. He didn’t interview Kliff Kingsbury. Jerry and McCarthy parted ways four days after the owner refused to let the Bears interview him. It seems to me the whole search process was a sham. The Cowboys only talked to five candidates, while the other teams on the hunt spoke to nearly twenty each! Conor Orr has written an excellent piece for Sports Illustrated about what the Schottenheimer hire, and the interview process, says to Cowboys fans. I highly recommend it.
There’s chatter out there that Jason Witten might be joining Schottenheimer’s staff as an assistant coach. That also feels like a very Jerry thing to do, like hiring Jason Garrett to work under Wade Phillips, grooming him as the easy hire if things go south.
With the Washington Deadskins playing in tomorrow’s NFC Championship Game, the Cowboys now own the longest active drought of NFC title game appearances. It’s been 29 years since Dallas won a divisional playoff game. The Bears have the second-longest streak at 14 years–a huge 15 year gap between worst and next-to-worst.
Cowboys fans keep telling me that they’re in the same category as the 49ers and Packers and Eagles. Ha! Since the Cowboys last won a divisional playoff game, 29 years ago, the 49ers and the Packers have each been to eight championship games and three Super Bowls. The Eagles have played in nine championship games in the past 29 years and might be heading to their fourth Super Bowl. Shoot, even the Giants have been to three Super Bowls during this time frame and won two of them! In fact, since that ’95 season, every NFC team but Washington and Dallas has appeared in multiple championship games. Multiple! At least two! Even the Carolina Panthers have been twice! And by the looks of things, the Washington team is going to get there again before Dallas does.
Someone tweeted last night that finding out the Cowboys have hired Brian Schottenheimer is like getting socks for Christmas. Yeah, maybe. But I’d add that it’s like getting socks from the disconnected aunt who always gives you socks. Every time. Always a disappointment, but never a surprise.
Jerry famously said any of 500 coaches could win a Super Bowl with the Cowboys. The truth is that as long as Jerry is in charge, none of them can even win a divisional playoff game.
Peace,
Allan
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