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Ruidoso Retreat

I am posting today from the redwood deck of a beautiful two-story cabin in the mountains of Ruidoso, courtesy of Billy and Kathy Futrell. I arrived here at about 6:00 last night, delayed only briefly by a half-dozen massive mule deer who were grazing and crossing the road very slowly about three miles away.  That breathtaking sight reminded me that I am on sabbatical. So what if during my nearly five hour drive the Rangers blew a 5-0 lead over the Twins and lost on a 13th inning bases loaded walk on four pitches? So what if Texas has lost nine of their past ten games and has surrendered first place in the division for the first time since April 8? I am on sabbatical. No TV, no Rangers, no staff meetings or elders meetings, no sermon preparation or small groups planning. These five-and-a-half days are for rest, relaxation, and reconnecting with my Lord.

As I pulled in last night, one of Billy’s neighbors welcomed me and and told me that “the bears have been really active this weekend.” Yikes. I was also reminded — again! — that I pronounce Ruidoso like a Texan and not like someone from Ruidoso. I have wrestled with this since we moved to Midland two years ago. Do I continue to maintain my Texan pronunciation, Ree-uh-doe-sa, or do I say it like the natives here and the West Texans who regularly travel and relax here, Roo-uh-doe-so? I can argue both ways. Maybe the Lord will reveal it to me.

I am surrounded by giant pines, rolling ranges, and very aggressive hummingbirds. The morning and afternoon temperatures are 20 degrees cooler than they are in Midland. I have my lectionary and my Bible, Diet Dr Peppers and iced-tea, my brats and Skip’s salsa. My plan is to immerse myself in the Gospels, to spend much time in prayer, to listen to the Lord more than I talk, and to rest.

This is a prayer I will be using as a focal point during this week in the mountains with our God. It comes from The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life by Hannah Whitall Smith:

Lord Jesus, I believe that you are able and willing to deliver me from all the care and unrest and bondage of my Christian life. I believe that you did die to set me free, not only in the future, but now and here. I believe you are stronger than sin, and that you can keep me, even me, in my extreme of weakness, from falling into its snares or yielding obedience to its commands. And, Lord, I am going to trust you to keep me. I have tried keeping myself, and have failed, and failed most grievously. I am absolutely helpless. So now I will trust you.

I give myself to you. I keep back no reserves. Body, soul, and spirit, I present myself to you as a piece of clay, to be fashioned into anything your love and your wisdom shall choose. And now I am yours. I believe you do accept that which I present to you; I believe that this poor, weak, foolish heart has been taken possession of by you, and that you have even at this very moment begun to work in me to will and to do of your good pleasure. I trust you utterly and I trust you now.

Amen.

The Triumph of Hope

“We all must experience some darkness, otherwise how can we appreciate the light? We all must experience the nearness of despair, otherwise how can we know when to celebrate the triumph of hope? We all must at some time or another face forthrightly the tragedy of love and death, so that one day the pain of separation might be replaced by the joy of reunion with the beloved one.”

~ Vigen Guroian, from Tending the Heart of Virtue

The Triumph of Faith

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,

though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the Lord,

I will be joyful in God my Savior!”

~ Habakkuk 3:17-18

Dining with Dan-O

“In a good friendship each member often feels humility towards the rest. He sees that they are splendid and counts himself lucky to be among them.” ~C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves

I spent three days this week in DFW spending some significant time with some of the very most important people in my life. I had lunch with Rick Atchley at a Fuzzy’s Taco a few blocks from The Hills. I spent a few hours with our youngest daughter Carley at their brand new house in Flower Mound. I had dinner with David and Shanna Byrnes, Dawson and his wife Mallory, Dakota, David’s mom Paula, and their three (four?) dogs.

 

But the absolute highlight of my trip was dining with Dan-O and the other Horsemen.

Dan Miller is one of my dearest and oldest friends and one of the fabled Four Horsemen. If you’re relatively new to me and/or to this blog, you might not know about the Four Horsemen. These three men and their families form a mutual alliance of love, support, and encouragement for me and my family that’s impossible to describe (you can read about our origins together by clicking here or you can search “Four Horsemen” on this site to get a glimpse of what these guys mean to me).

We four made vows to each other around my kitchen table in 2001, before two of us were preachers, before any of us had married kids, before any of us got cancer or lost jobs or moved across the state. Since then, for the past 22 years, we’ve taken an annual three-day camping trip together at Tyler State Park. We pray together via Zoom once a month. We’ve traveled to Tulsa and Abilene together for church conferences and workshops. We’ve helped each other move (they’ve helped me more than I’ve helped them). We’ve attended every one of our kids’ weddings. And we keep in very close contact.

A little over two years ago, Dan was diagnosed with Parkinson’s — it was just after we had moved to Midland. We had noticed his shaking for about a year before that, but he can be really stubborn. I think he’s so optimistic and hopeful by nature, he refused to believe anything was wrong. A few months after his diagnosis, they added another huge uppercut to the gut punch: Lewy Body Dementia.

Not good.

I’ve seen Dan in person only twice since then. So it was a gracious gift from the Lord to be able to round up the Four Horsemen this week for some quality time together at a couple of Dan’s favorite spots.

First, it was the El Fenix in Casa Linda, a neighborhood in East Dallas that was always just a little more upscale than my Pleasant Grove community to the south — we had a Pancho’s in Pleasant Grove. When we were kids, we only drove north on Buckner Boulevard to Casa Linda if our church was doing something with the White Rock Church of Christ. I remember eating at this El Fenix with my friend Todd Adkins and his family when I would spend the night at his house on Telegraph near White Rock Lake. When I was 14, Glen and Becky Burroughs took my sister and me to see Raiders of the Lost Ark at the Casa Linda Theater across the street from the El Fenix. That theater is now a Natural Grocers, which is really weird; the movie poster boards out front now contain grocery store ads.

 

 

 

 

When I moved to Arlington and, later, to North Richland Hills, the Horsemen made it a point to eat a long lunch together on the last Friday of every month. The almost-halfway point was the El Fenix in North Dallas at LBJ and Forest Lane. We did that together for years until I moved to Amarillo and the monthly lunch became a monthly prayer via conference call. So, it was nostalgic on several fronts to eat together at the Casa Linda El Fenix on Tuesday. It’s not as cool as eating at the original El Fenix at McKinney and Pearl Streets in downtown Dallas, the one that opened in 1918. But this El Fenix in Casa Linda opened in 1956 and, at the time, boasted the first and only completely stainless steel kitchen in the restaurant industry. Clean!

Beef fajitas. Tortillas. Chips and salsa and queso. Sopapillas AND churos and ice cream. And a lot of laughing.

Then yesterday we got together for breakfast at the Goldmine in the historic Ridgewood area of Garland. It’s just a generic diner, a little rundown cafe. I had never been to the Goldmine before, but it’s super close to Dan’s house, so it made sense. Little did I know that all three of these guys have stomped through the Goldmine over the past five decades: Kevin as a freshman at Eastfield College, Jason as a Garland police officer, and Dan over the past few years living near Centerville and Duck Creek Drive.

Eggs and sausage. Hashbrowns and country potatoes. Biscuits and gravy. Diet Dr Pepper! And a lot of laughing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Parkinson’s / Lewy Body Dementia combo is brutal. My great friend Dan-O Miller is suffering. He shakes. He hurts. He can’t straighten out his fingers. He can’t stop the leg cramps. Hallucinations. Bone pain. Overall weakness and fatigue. Side effects. Doctors visits. New medications. No more driving. Forgetfulness. Delayed reactions and slower response times. Dizziness. Loss of balance.

Yet, Dan continues to think of others more than himself. He still considers the needs of others more important than his own. He still jokes and laughs with an abounding and limitless joy. And he still sees the very best in every person and in every situation.

Dan Miller speaks with such confidence about our Lord and his plans for each one of us. He encourages me. He lifts me up. He sees things in me that I never have — good things, holy things. He speaks over me things I have never thought — eternal things, Gospel things. He sees beyond the urgent to the bigger picture truths of love and unity and charity. He is secure in his saving relationship with God through Christ Jesus. He talks about it and he lives it. He always has. He still does. He has less time now for skirting around difficult issues and less patience for Christians who know better. But he is still able to see our God very clearly in every person and in every place.

I am a better person because I know Dan. I’m a better Christian, a better husband and dad, a better preacher. I’m paying close attention to Dan now, watching him, listening to him, learning from him as he navigates this incredibly difficult journey. I want to be more like him. I want to love and forgive and serve others the way he does. I want to be faithful like Dan, faithful to friends and family, faithful to our God even in the middle of hardship.

Dan reflects the glory of our God in his compassion for others, his love for all people of all kinds, and his capacity to encourage. Even now. Especially now.

I thank God for Dan Miller.

Peace,

Allan

Habakkuk’s Complaint

We’re studying Habakkuk together on Sunday mornings here at GCR and we’ve started at the very beginning — a very good place to start. Except that the first chapter of Habakkuk is tough reading. It’s the prophet’s prayer to the Lord and it’s not very nice. It questions God. It complains to God. The prayer argues with God and even accuses God of wrongdoing. Habakkuk details the violence and injustice in the land. How can you just stand there, God, and not do anything? The prophet explains to God that because of all the wickedness and strife, the law is paralyzed and justice is perverted. Get off your throne, Lord, and do something!

The Lord answers Habakkuk by telling him things are about to go from bad to worse. The Lord is about to raise up the worst, most evil people on the planet to ride in and punish the Israelites. He paints an awful picture.

Habakkuk’s complaint continues. But listen to the faith in his lament in 1:12.

“O, Lord. are you not from everlasting? My God, my Holy One…” You are the eternal God, Habakkuk says. You are my God and I have no other.

“We will not die.” Despite all the evidence to the contrary, despite even what God himself is telling the prophet, Habakkuk is hanging on with a white-knuckle-death-grip to God’s promises that his people will never die.

“O, Rock.” I don’t understand any of this, Habakkuk prays. I don’t agree with what you’re doing. It seems unfair, it seems wrong. I can’t see it. I don’t get it. But, Lord, Rock, my trust is in you. My faith is in you.

God tells Habakkuk things are about to get really bad. But the prophet makes it clear he will go nowhere else for his answers. He will seek no one else to protect him or save him. This is a total and complete dependence on God and God alone to do what’s best. Total dependence. Complete faith. A faith that goes well beyond any evidence or proof for it. Facing exile, starvation, and slavery, Habakkuk continues to trust our God.

God’s reply to Habakkuk’s complaints affirms that the Lord is still very much in control. All of it, no matter how evil and wrong and unfair and chaotic it seems, all of it is being controlled by our God.

1:5 – “I am going to do something.” God says, there’s a plan.

1:6 – “I am raising up the Babylonians.” This is going somewhere. And I’m the one doing it.

1:5 – “…in your days.” There is a time frame. God says, it’s all on my schedule.

2:3 – “The revelation awaits an appointed time.” It’s happening exactly when I want it to happen.

Everything that is happening in our world, everything that is happening in your world right now, is subject to and bound up with the Kingdom of God. Things happen for a reason — God’s reason. And we don’t always have to understand what God is doing. We don’t always see it. And we don’t need to.

Ask the questions. Wrestle with the Lord. Accuse him. Argue with him. Bring to him all your fears and uncertainties and pains. But never doubt his supreme love for you and his divine justice. He is trustworthy. And he is faithful.

Peace,

Allan

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