The Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. Go! I am sending you!”

And the apostles answered, “Master, would it not be better to just run an ad in the Jerusalem Journal?”

Philip, too, replied, “Lord, a mass mailout with eye-catching color and graphics would better reach our target audience at a much lower cost.”

The one called Judas insisted, “Why go door-to-door when we can reach the whole world? Let us create an interactive website with videos and free downloads of music and sermons. With the right content and images, we shall convert all the earth!”

Hearing this, Simon Peter asked, “Why not just force everyone into the Kingdom of God? I have a sword. James and John are prepared to call fire down from heaven. We’ll annihilate and incinerate all who refuse to conform to the ways of the Son of Man.”

“Truly, truly,” Matthew said, “I have much influence with the Roman authorities. Let us lobby and petition the government. Let us demand new laws and fight to change existing ones. Let us debate and protest and threaten boycotts so that all the nation will obey the Lord.”

“Oi, vey,” Jesus said. And he withdrew to a mountain by himself to pray.