Texas Monthly, the venerable state-institution magazine that expertly chronicles all things Texas, has named Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Wayne Jones its 2024 Bum Steer of the Year. Jerry receives the magazine’s lowest annual dishonor for his leading role in completely destroying a once proud public trust.

You’ve got to read this.

The cover story in the current issue does a masterful job of comparing Jerry to a vampire, expertly melding together lines from the movie Interview with the Vampire and Jones’ own rant with reporters regarding the sunlight that blinds Cowboys players during home games halfway through every season. But, as the magazine observes, it’s not just speeches about the sun that Jerry has in common with the vampire; they “both thrive by sucking dry the lifeblood of others, leaving behind nothing but a pile of withered husks.”

Texas Monthly meticulously details how Jerry has, over the past 30 years, driven the Cowboys to abject mediocrity by spending very little on his coaching staff, making impulsive unilateral decisions, second-guessing his coaches, defending players who break team rules, and spending more time promoting his stadium than he does bettering his team. The history is concisely recounted, and then capped by a thorough drilling down into what’s gone so foul this season. Retaining Mike McCarthy after the playoff debacle against the Packers, waiting until the last second to re-sign Dak and Lamb, losing key starters and depth the free agency and replacing them with no one, all the blowout losses, threatening radio hosts with their jobs–it’s all here.

I’ll give you this line in its entirety:

“Any other general manager who’d acted this way, who’d spent decades failing to build a Super Bowl-worthy roster or give his coaches the breathing room to shape such a team, would have been fired long ago–presumably to be replaced by someone with hew ideas, fresh energy, and the motivation to succeed or risk losing the job. Jones, though, is the only NFL team owner who also serves as GM. Because he’s his own boss, he faces no accountability so long as fans continue to attend games and watch them on TV.”

I highly recommend the piece.

The best line of the article comes in the next-to-last paragraph. The author references a Texas Monthly cover from 2001 in which Jerry was depicted as Satan alongside the headline “Is Jerry Jones the Devil?” (If memory serves, I believe that was a Gary Cartwright story.) “But Cowboys fans aren’t trapped in hell–they’re trapped in a purgatory from which there’s little hope of escape.”

It’s a good article.

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I’m going with my heart over my head in making my college football bowl picks for our annual GCR Staff Bowl Challenge and picking the Texas Longhorns to win the national championship. In college football’s first ever twelve-team playoff, it seems that the ‘Horns have a simple path through the first two rounds. Hosting Clemson at Memorial Stadium this Saturday should be easy enough; the Texas defense ought to be able to shut down the over-achieving Tigers. Arizona State awaits the Longhorns in a second-round matchup at the Peach Bowl, but the Sun Devils are only there because the rest of the watered-down Big 12 imploded around them. Oregon appears to be the best team in the country, and Texas will have its hands full with the Ducks in their third round game in the Cotton Bowl. But that’ll be like a home game for the ‘Horns. Fair Park will be all burnt orange from Big Tex to the Tilt-a-Whirl, from end zone to end zone. And Oregon has not faced a defense like the Longhorns. As for the title game, it’ll be in Georgia again against the Bulldogs again. There’s no way Georgia beats Texas three times in one year, right? No way.

I am also picking my Dallas football team to post upset wins in the first two rounds to reach the final four. SMU–“Pony Up, Dallas!”–only has to hang onto the ball and they’ll score enough points to beat Penn State in a freezing, snowy Happy Valley. The only thing that has stopped the Mustangs offense this year is their own turnovers. Plus, contrary to public opinion, slippery field conditions always favor the offense. SMU may have never played in a blizzard before like they might have to tomorrow. But Penn State only has a defense. And it might not be enough.

Back to the Longhorns. When Whitney and I were comparing our picks last week, she questioned my picking Texas to win it all. Her exact words were, “Dad, have you watched Quinn Ewers this year?” Yeah, I know. It seems to take him a full first-half to find any rhythm. He’s thrown some awful interceptions in the first quarters of some really big games. He doesn’t look nearly as good the past two months as he looked in September. But here’s what I’m banking on:

Coach Steve Sarkisian.

I’ve got to believe Sark has spent the past four weeks scheming to make Arch Manning a more vital part of the Texas offense than just a once-a-game gimmick or decoy. They’ve put in some plays, yes? Arch is going to get a couple of series, right? That team belongs to Ewers, no question. But Arch has a stronger arm and poses a more dangerous threat to break a run for 30 yards. They are two completely different quarterbacks who present two totally different strengths and styles for which a defense must prepare. It’ll add another exciting dimension to their already explosive offense.

I think we’re going to see some things out of Sark over the next two weeks he’s been holding onto. Maybe he only flashes them against Clemson tomorrow. Maybe he gives Arizona State just a glimpse. But it’ll be enough to freak out Dan Lanning and Kirby Smart. It’ll put them on their heels in game-planning. It’ll give the Longhorns the advantage.

Plus, there’s no way Georgia beats Texas three times in one year. Right?

Peace,

Allan