The Kingdom, The Kids, & The Cowboys

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Author: Allan (Page 463 of 493)

R.I.P. Cookie

February 6, 2008 / / 35 Comments

HerbTarlek“As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”

                                                ~Herb Tarlek, WKRP

Tough day yesterday in the Stanglin household. I killed Valerie’s birthday gerbil. It’s dead. And I did it. It was an accident, a completely innocent mistake. But I did it.

We got the gerbil, which she named Cookie, for Valerie Thursday night, January 24th. Sunday afternoon, the 27th, we gave it a bath. We cleaned out the already smelly cage and gave it a bath. I didn’t think twice about it. Pets need to be bathed or they’ll stink up the house. I had a hamster when I was a kid and I gave it a bath all the time. It never died as a result. My hamsters died because I forgot to feed or water them. That’s another story.

So we’re giving this little gerbil a bath in warm water and liquid soap in the bathroom sink and the thing starts to freak out. He shut his eyes and just kind of curled up and froze. Like he was paralyzed. He stuck one little leg up in the air and just stopped moving. Of course, with his fur all plastered against him we could plainly see that he was still breathing. So we rinsed him off and put him in a towel and just stared at him. Once he warmed up, I guess, he came to. He fluffed right up and eventually bounced back to being the same old Cookie we’d known and loved for three days. I assumed maybe I’d gotten soap in his eyes or maybe the water was too cold or maybe he had gone into some instinctive defensive position.

Cookie made it through the rest of the week just fine. But I thought we needed to bathe that thing once a week. Clean out the cage and give it a bath, right? It’s part of the responsibilities of owning a pet. So Monday evening we get Cookie back in the sink.

The joke all week had been how Cookie had curled up during that first bath, In fact, Carley was making little cracks all day Monday. “When are we going to paralyze the gerbil?”

I was more careful this time. I made sure the water was extra warm. I made sure not to get any soap in the little gerbil’s eyes. And it was much easier this time because Cookie didn’t move at all. I assumed he knew what was coming and was just resigned to his fate. He was being still so I could do what I needed to do and we could get it over with and he could go back to his wheel and his food dish and his little cage. I was so careful.

And the whole time, the whole ten days, it never occured to me one single time that there was even a remote possibility that a bath could kill a gerbil.

But Cookie froze up again. It didn’t look good. We dried him off as best we could and put him back in his cage where he just kinda wobbled over to a corner and stood there. And he kept wobbling. I kept assuring Valerie he was going to be fine. But by this moment, I wasn’t sure. He just stood there. Wobbling. Like he needed a cane or a walker to balance. We checked on him before we went to bed and he had fluffed right out and was eating. Everything looked good. I was greatly relieved. And I resolved then to call a pet store and find out maybe if there’s something I should know about giving gerbils baths before we try again with Cookie.

I never got that chance.

At least not with Cookie.

Cookie passed away sometime late Monday night-early Tuesday morning.

I leave the house at 6:00 on Tuesday mornings for our weekly Bible study up here at Legacy. So I didn’t see anybody until Carrie-Anne walked into my study at about 8:00 to break the news.

And I felt like Herb Tarlek from WKRP. Remember when Herb, the promotions guy at the fictional Cincinnati radio station from the late ’70s, pulled a Thanksgiving publicity stunt by dropping live turkeys from a helicopter over a shopping mall? The results were disastrous. Newsman Les Nesman, unaware at first of what he was seeing, reported on the turkeys as they crashed “like bags of wet cement” onto the pavement and into windshields of parked cars. Chaos ensued. Hundreds of turkeys lost their lives. And Tarlek’s classic response: “As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”

As God is my witness, I thought you could give gerbils a bath.

I met Valerie at school with Chick-Fil-A for lunch. We talked about it. She’s sad. But she’s very understanding and forgiving.

Unlike the ladies up here at the church building who expressed great shock that I would give a gerbil a bath. They were incredulous. Like everybody in the whole world knows you can’t give a gerbil a bath. I didn’t know. How was I supposed to? And at last night’s Jr High Bible study at the Engers’ house, Keith kept asking me if I’d give his daughters’ guinea pigs a bath. Not funny. Not nice. Give me a break. I’m now the Grim Reaper of household pets. Great.

We’re trying again this afternoon. Val and I have a 4:00 date to go buy a new gerbil. This time, I’ll ask a few more questions about rodent hygiene.

Peace,

Allan

Confession & Forgiveness

February 5, 2008 / / 13 Comments

“Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit…I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord’ — and you forgave the guilt of my sin.” ~Psalm 32:1-2, 5

My daily Bible reading took me to Psalm 32 this morning and I was immediately struck by the repitition David uses in this song of thanksgiving and joy for the forgiveness we receive as a gracious gift from our God. “Blessed is he…blessed is the man…” He rejoices in the happy state of experiencing God’s forgiveness. And then “are forgiven…sins are covered…not count against him…you forgave.” Over and over David stresses that the sins we confess to the Lord are completely washed away when we confess them to him in total faith and trust.

 Paul uses this same psalm in Romans 4 and asks the rhetorical question, “Is this blessedness only for the circumcised, or also for the uncircumcised?” Yes, this blessedness that comes from God’s forgiveness is for everyone. It’s for all people who will confess their sins to him in honesty and integrity and faith. We hide nothing. We don’t lie. We bring all of it to God and lay bare and vulnerable before him, begging for his forgiveness. And he gives it gladly and freely and abundantly.

Confession is good for the soul. It’s good for the Church. It’s good for husbands and wives and church leaders and preachers and parents and kids. Confession is good for me. And you. In Psalm 32 the confession is to God, but it’s meant to be heard as worship by God’s people. It’s personal. And it’s corporate. It’s done individually and it’s done in community.

Lay your soul out to your God today. Confess to him your sin and your weakness and your complete dependence on him. And then rejoice in his forgiveness, the removal of your sin, and the trampling of your guilt.

“Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you are upright in heart!” ~Psalm 32:11

Peace,

Allan

17-14

February 4, 2008 / / 10 Comments

LombardiTrophyIs there anybody in America who was not watching that game last night? Midway through the fourth quarter, long after the excruciating pre-game shows had become just a horrible memory, I asked Carrie-Anne, “Who’s not watching this?” Is it even humanly possible for someone, anyone, even a non-football fan, to flip over to the game to check it out and then after 15 seconds say to themselves, “Nah, let’s see what else is on.”

(Quick aside on Fox’s broadcast: I understand it’s the Super Bowl, I understand selling ads and creating product to use as a conduit for those ads, and I understand the network wanting to make their broadcast bigger and better than anyone else’s before them. I get all that. But Ryan Seacrest on a contrived red carpet? I thought it was insulting. I thought it was insulting to all real football fans, I thought it was insulting to the movie stars and entertainers he interviewed, and insulting to the human race as they shamelessly used that red carpet to plug their own shows and specials. I don’t want to see Paula Abdul lip-syncing her new song one hour before kickoff. I don’t want Nick Lachey’s Super Bowl prediction. I don’t want Seacrest asking some unknown B-movie actor to comment on how great Tom Brady is, especially in light of the “scrutinization” he’s under. Frank Caliendo delivered a good line in questioning Fox’s choice of Seacrest, “What? They couldn’t get Richard Simmons?”)

The numbers are in. Last night’s Super Bowl was the second most watched American television broadcast in the history of civilization. An estimated 9.7-million people watched the Giants ruin the Patriots’ story, second only to the 106-million who viewed the final episode of M*A*S*H in 1983.

Who couldn’t watch it? Who wasn’t captured by it? I’m still having a hard time believing what I saw. It reminded me so much of Texas and USC in the BCS game in the Rose Bowl three years ago. Southern Cal was already being coronated as the greatest team in the history of college football. Even during the game the broadcasters were calling them the greatest ever. And Texas pulled off the upset. Just like the Giants last night.

This is why we watch sports, right? Because we never know how it’s going to turn out. It’s the only true reality television. The plots were set. The scripts were written. We knew the outcome. The whole world knew. And then the Giants played better and harder and came up with some huge plays at critical times and gave us more excitement and drama than we ever anticipated. I still can’t believe what I saw.

We were rooting hard for the Giants, but not nearly as hard as we were rooting against the Pats. Maybe New England’s kind of become the Yankees or Notre Dame with their championships AND their attitude. Maybe it’s just Belichick’s demeanor or refusal to follow the rules. I think I’d like to see somebody go 19-0 some day. Just not them. I think I’d like it to be unexpected when it happens. Like if Denver or Seattle were to do it next year.

 I did lose the exotic wager I made on the game. I owe Kevin Welch a Dr Pepper because the game ended after 9:00 instead of before 9:00. If Tom Petty had played three songs instead of four, I would have won that bet.

Congratulations to Eli, who’s a little more likeable and realistic—less robotic and corporate—than his brother Peyton. Kudos to the Giants D, David Tyree, and Tom Coughlin, who was almost fired in week three. And hats off to the giant Doritos rat, the e-trading baby, the screaming forest animals, Alice Cooper, and the heart that just quit and walked out the door.

25 more weeks ’til training camp.

 Peace,

Allan

The Church In The Kingdom

February 1, 2008 / / 20 Comments

Only got two suckers to jump in and post corny preacher and corny Bible jokes yesterday and early this morning. I thought we needed a little humor after a couple of days of pretty heavy stuff on the blog. Sure enough, that’s what we got. Very little humor. If you have corny Bible or preacher jokes, it’s not too late to share. Just hit comments on yesterday’s blog and pile on.

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IF the Pats win it Sunday, they end all debate about the best team in pro football history. Period. It’s over. As we’ve said all season long, PatsLogoespecially as it pertains to the Cowboys, it’s difficult to get wins in the NFL. Forget beating everybody, it’s hard beating anybody in that league. They’re all so equal in talent and skill and coaching and scouting and payroll. To do what New England has done is remarkable. And if they pull it off against the Giants on Sunday, it blows away what the ’72 Dolphins did.

Shula’s72FinsHow many playoff teams did that Miami squad beat during its run to 17-0? Zero. They didn’t play a single playoff team that year. In fact, they only played two teams with winning records: the 8-6 Chiefs and the 8-6 Giants. And you can’t downgrade what New England has done this year because the AFC East is so weak. The ’72 Dolphins’ division opponents that year were the 7-7 Jets, the 4-9-1 Bills, and the 3-11 Patriots. One of thier other wins was against the 1-13 Oilers.

Contrast that with what the Pats have done this season. New England faced seven teams with winning records, seven playoff teams, during the regular season and won by an average score of 37-17. New England scored at least 27 points in every game but two and only gave up more than 28 once.

In their two playoff games, the ’72 Dolphins barely squeaked by the Browns 20-14 and beat the Steelers in Pittsburgh 21-17. (Why did the undefeated Dolphins have to play the AFC Championship Game on the road? I might be looking at a bad list.) And they won Super Bowl VII 14-7 over the ‘Skins. The current edition of the Pats has won their two playoff games 31-20 and 21-12.

Go Giants. And if New York can pull off the biggest Super Bowl upset since Joe Willie’s Jets shocked the Colts in Super Bowl III, then the Greatest Ever tag belongs to the Dolphins without dispute. But if New England does what they’re expected to do, it’s over.

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Jesus preaches the Kingdom. “Repent!” he says, “The Kingdom of God is near!” And then what does he do? He frees the prisoner, heals the blind, rescues the oppressed.

Those are the signs of the Kingdom.

John the Baptist sends to find out if Jesus is the Messiah and Jesus says look, you know what the signs are. “..the blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor.”

That’s the Kingdom.

Jesus, show us the Kingdom. What does the Kingdom look like, Jesus? Where is it?

Not once did Jesus ever say, “See those people over there meeting every Sunday for Bible class and worship? That’s the Kingdom.” Jesus never once pointed out, “That group that takes communion weekly and sings acappella, that’s the Kingdom.” The Son of God didn’t say, “When you see three songs and a prayer and announcements either at the beginning or the end (or both), you’ve seen the Kingdom.”

Distressed people being encouraged. Cold people being warmed. Hurting people being comforted. The outcasts being brought in and made family. That’s the Kingdom.

When we talk about the Kingdom strictly in terms of Church and the institution and the rules and the order — when that’s our whole idea of Kingdom — we quickly lose sight of the very things that make the Kingdom of God what it is. Centuries of church development and decision-making and rule-making can cloud our vision. When we see the Kingdom exclusively as Church, we tend to focus only on the features and characteristics of the Church.

Our challenge as the Legacy Church of Christ is to occasionally flex our autonomy — you know, that autonomy we brag about — to insure that our identifying characteristics genuinely correspond to those of the Kingdom Jesus was preaching. Maintaining our institutional status quo is not necessarily the same as being faithful to Jesus and his mission. Being a member in good standing or being a middle of the road church isn’t necessarily the same as living under the reign of God.

The true marks of the Kingdom have very little if anything to do with what happens between prayers and announcements in our building. The Kingdom of God is firmly grounded in Jesus’ foundational principles, the “weightier matters” of justice and mercy and faithfulness in our community. Our requirements as subjects of the King are not as much about keeping the rules as they are about acting justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly before God.

Our King came into this world in order to serve and to save. And that is the business of his subjects, as well. May our Lord bless us as we serve and rescue and save in his name.

Peace,

Allan

Party Lines

January 30, 2008 / / 5 Comments

Screwtape“The congregational principle makes each church into a kind of club, and finally, if all goes well, into a coterie or faction.” ~Screwtape

In his 16th letter to Wormwood, the senior tempter advises his nephew that if he can’t cure his patient from going to church, the next best thing is to “send him all over the city looking for the church that ‘suits’ him until he becomes a taster or connoisseur of churches.” Once he finds the church that meets his needs and makes him feel comfortable and important, the trick is to cause the patient to be “violently attached” to some party within it. And Screwtape claims that the devils don’t really have much use for Christian doctrine. They’re much more concerned with the things that don’t really matter.

“The real fun is working up hatred between those who say ‘mass’ and those who say ‘holy communion’ when neither party could possibly state the difference between, say, Hooker’s doctrine and Thomas Aquinas’, in any form which would hold water for five minutes. And all the purely indifferent things — candles and clothes and what not — are an admirable ground for our activities. We have quite removed from men’s minds what that pestilent fellow Paul used to teach about food and other unessentials…you would think they could not fail to see the application.”

The difference, I think, between C. S. Lewis’ Anglican Church in 1940s England and our Churches of Christ in 2008 America is that our parties or factions all get together in different congregations. Liberal churches and conservative churches, progressive congregations and traditional congregations; those are our party labels. And members of our  “parties” up and move all over the place—admittedly much more so here in Texas and in the South than in other parts of our country where there aren’t Churches of Christ on every corner—to join congregations that suit them. So our arguing over the unessentials isn’t done at an annual convention. It’s done across town between “competing” congregations, in magazines and books, at lectureships and seminars.

Screwtape refers in this letter to Romans 14 and Paul’s discussion there on one of the hot button issues of his day, the eating of meat. I’ve generally tried to apply Paul’s message of mutual love and patience and respect in that situation to our inter-congregational disputes over hand-clapping, song selection, praise teams and whatever other indifferent thing about which we argue. But upon further review, it’s so much bigger than that! Paul’s talking about the eating of meat! There are huge theological differences between the “man who eats everything” and the “man who eats only vegetables.” There were sharp divisions in the early church over meat offered to idols, meat sold in the pagan marketplaces, meat deemed clean or unclean depending on to whom you talked. Keeping the sacred days of the Hebrew Scriptures or ignoring them altogether was another massive theological issue. This wasn’t just sitting or standing for three songs or where to put the announcements. These were the big things, the huge things, the things that cause us today to leave our churches and go somewhere else.

Paul says in Romans 14 we should assume those on both sides of these issues are sincere in their gratitude and dedication to God and that they’re fully convinced in their own hearts that what they’re doing is right. And leave it at that. Love each other. Serve each other. Encourage each other. Stop fighting and arguing.

“For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men. Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification” (Romans 14:17-19).

Paul paints a picture in Romans 14 of brothers and sisters going out of their way, sacrificing their own feelings, for the benefit of their brothers and sisters who hold opposite convictions. He never speaks of leaving to find a group of people who agree on everything. Seeing things differently and acting differently and believing differently is actually God’s plan for his Church. That’s the kind of setting that fosters mutual love and patience and sacrifice and service. That’s the kind of dynamic that produces a Christ-like transformation. Our differences on these things are God-ordained for God’s purposes.

At the end of the 16th letter Screwtape actually rejoices because churches so often split up along these party lines.

“Without that the variety of usage within the Christian Church might have become a positive hotbed of charity and humility.”

Peace,

Allan

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