Obama Saves Jerry Wayne

I never sign petitions. You know my feelings about petitions and boycotts. Any sign of power, any show of force, any threat at all in an effort to get my/our way is in direct opposition to the ways of our Lord and the manner of his Kingdom. Those are the ways of the world, not the ways of Christ.

On Monday, I swallowed hard and made an exception. A Dallas Cowboys fan in Georgia had posted a petition on the White House website urging President Obama to remove Jerry Jones as the team’s owner and general manager. And I signed it. I’ve long held that the only way to get Jerry Wayne to sell the team is if they go 0-16 for several years in a row. If they lose every single game for a decade, maybe then Jerry would lose enough money that he would be forced to walk away. But nobody goes 0-16 anymore. It’s an impossible dream. I’ve been rooting against them every Sunday since 1996 and it’s impossible. So I signed the petition.

The petition is lacking in creativity and short on length. But it’s long on emotion and style:

“We, the citizens of the great state of Texas and Dallas Cowboys fans worldwide, have been oppressed by an over-controlling, delusional, oppressive dictator for way too long. We request the Executive Branch’s immediate assistance in removal of owner and GM Jerry Jones. His incompetence and ego have not only been an extreme disappointment for way to long, but moreover, it has caused extreme mental and emotional duress.”

So I signed it. I was signature number 191. Yesterday morning the total number of signatures was a little over 22,000, less than three thousand away from the total number needed to require an official response from President Obama. But when I checked it yesterday afternoon, the petition had been removed from the White House website. Something about a violation of “terms of participation.” I have no idea what that means. But I’m running out of ideas for getting Jerry Wayne out of the picture.

Thanksgiving Day’s humiliating loss to the Redskins brought the Cowboys overall record since 1997 to 125 wins and 126 losses. For the past fifteen years, Jerry Wayne’s Cowboys are 125-126. They’re a .500 team. Have been for a long, long time.

I think back to the last of the Landry years. The team was struggling. Three straight losing seasons, including that last 3-13 record in 1988. People were calling for Landry’s head. The game had passed him by. He was being outcoached. Tex Schramm was being out GM’ed. Gil Brandt was being out scouted. It was time for a change. Remember? When Jerry Wayne purchased the team on that dark February day in 1989, he too chimed in with what was wrong with the Cowboys. They deserved better, he said. Their loyal fans deserved more. The Cowboys are nothing less than the greatest franchise in football history and Jerry insisted that he was there to right the ship, to restore the luster to the glorious silver star. Yeah, things had gotten pretty bad.

Do you think Jerry realizes that his Cowboys of today are even worse than those Cowboys of Landry’s last years?

125-126 over the past fifteen seasons.

Tom Landry went a combined 36-34 over his last five seasons. But just two seasons before that he had taken the Cowboys to their third straight NFC Championship Game. They actually won the NFC East in 1985. Jerry’s Cowboys are 39-36 in their past five seasons and a long, long, long, long time removed from their last appearance in a conference championship game. Jerry Wayne’s Dallas Cowboys are in worse shape now — and have been for a long time — than when he bought the team. If he truly cared about the franchise and its history and its fans and its place in American sports, he’d do the honorable thing and sell the team.

What better way to earn bi-partisan support in the White House than for the President to remove Jerry from the Cowboys? Who could possibly argue against it? It would be universally heralded as the most important thing a U. S. President has actually done for the common citizens in decades. Even Sean Hannity would nod in approval.

But Obama wouldn’t touch it. And we’re left with continuing to root against the Cowboys in order to save the team.

Now, where’s the link to a petition to move the New York Yankees to Mumbai?

Peace,

Allan

1 Comment

  1. Mom

    Sounds good to me. Have you sent the petition to Jerry Wayne’s office or to Jason Garrett?

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