Author: Allan (Page 238 of 492)

Sex Is From God

“A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh.” ~Genesis 2:24

The first explicit mention of sex in the Scriptures is in the second chapter of Genesis. This is the same line Paul quotes in Ephesians 5 and 1 Corinthians 6 when he’s talking about marriage. Man and woman, husband and wife, are to be united to become one flesh.

You know, when we read this, it looks like it’s only talking about a physical, sexual union between two bodies. But it actually means a whole lot more. When Genesis 6:12 says all flesh had corrupted their ways, it doesn’t just mean bodies. It means all people. When Joel 2:28 says God will pour out his Spirit on all flesh, it means people, not just bodies. It’s like if I said I was going to “count noses” in the worship center on Sunday or do a “head count.” I’d say, “I’ve got 985!” (preacher count) and you would know I’m not talking 985 noses or 985 heads; I’m telling you how many people are in the room (more like 700). It’s very common to use a part of a thing to represent the whole thing.

So marriage is leaving your father and mother and uniting with another so profoundly that the man and woman actually become one new single person. We’ve talked about the word “united,” or “cleave” in the older translations. It means to make a covenant or a binding contract. Every aspect of the two lives are sworn together. The man and woman merge into a single, legal, social, economic, emotional, physical, spiritual unit. They give up a lot of their rights and their independence. They give themselves completely to one another.

To call the marriage “one flesh” means that sex is a sign of that personal and legal union and the means to accomplish it. It’s the God-created way to help you give your entire self to your spouse. Sex is God’s ordained way for two people to say to each other, “I belong completely and permanently and exclusively to you.”

Now, we’re not done with this. Today’s post just really sets us up for tomorrow and Thursday.

Peace,

Allan

Sex and Marriage

SexField

I wrapped up our six-weeks sermon series on marriage here at Central a couple of weeks ago with a sermon titled “Sex and Marriage.” As soon as church was over, one of our elders, who will remain nameless — his initials are Ira Purdy — approached me and asked, “What is this? Sweeps week?!?” At about the same time, two of our teenagers, Josh and Boyd, came up from behind me with a couple of prayer cards. “You said the word ‘sex’ 84-times during the sermon!” They pointed proudly to their two separate scorecards with all the penciled-in tally marks. Both cards added up to 84.

My first thought was, “Wow, that’s got to be some kind of Church of Christ record.”

Sure enough, we contacted the Christian Chronicle the next morning and they verified it last week. Saying the word “sex” 84 times in a 27-minute sermon broke the previous Church of Christ mark set by Marvin Phillips at the Garnett Road Church of Christ in Tulsa, Oklahoma when he said the word “sex” 51-times in a 32-minute sermon in 1979.

Most sermons about sex and most youth group talks about sex seem to center around the idea that sex is wonderfully great but it needs to wait until marriage. Sex is incredible, but you can’t enjoy it until you get married. And while all those sermons and youth talks are made by well-intentioned and sincere Christian leaders, the impression can almost be taken that sex and marriage are two separate things.

Like a house with a swimming pool in the backyard.

Sometimes we act like marriage is the house and sex is the swimming pool out back. Sex is the add-on that doesn’t have much, if anything, to do with the structural integrity of the house itself. The marriage relationship and the sex are two different things. We’ve got the marriage in one place — this is where we live and this is what we pay attention to and this is what’s really important — and when you sign the contract you walk into the house and open up the back doors and say, “Wow, check out this awesome swimming pool!” It’s a fringe benefit that comes when you buy the house. It’s a really nice extra.

Or maybe just the opposite. Maybe sex is the foundation for the marriage and relationship is the add-on. Maybe you’ve understood sex as the main house —sex is everything, I’ve got to get married so I can have sex, I’ve got to get married so I can be fulfilled sexually — it’s the foundation, the walls, the floor, the ceiling, the roof, everything. And the relationship is the pool out back. It’s nice. I’m glad I’ve got it. Two separate things.

That kind of thinking, seeing sex and marriage as two separate things has led to a whole lot of sex without marriage and a whole lot of marriage without sex. And both of those situations are a distortion of God’s holy will and doing untold damage to God’s holy people.

I’ll post every day this week from that “Sex and Marriage” sermon I preached a couple of weeks ago. In the meantime, don’t call the Christian Chronicle or contact Marvin Phillips. It’s a joke.

Peace,

Allan

The Vision

This is our two-part vision at Central. Transformation and mission, discipleship and ministry. Being formed into the image of Jesus in order to bless those outside ourselves. Paying close attention to what God is doing in us and what he is doing through us. We’re committed to it here. We believe in it. We’re sold on the truth that the more we think like Jesus, the more we talk like Jesus and act like Jesus, the more we behave and respond like our Lord, the more naturally we’ll come to consider the needs of others more important than our own. The more we’ll sacrifice for others and serve others and show the love and grace of God to others.

That is not the goal of other institutions. That’s not what the schools are doing. That’s not what your neighborhood Property Owners Association is doing. That’s not the government’s vision. And it’s not the goal of Apple, Fox News, or the Texas Rangers. Becoming Like Christ for the Sake of  __________ is only the mission of the Church. Disciples of Jesus are the only ones committed to this vision. In fact, this Gospel vision actually opposes the vision of most all other worldly establishments. This vision makes us an alternative community. We’re the oddballs, the weirdos. We stick out. What we’re committed to as a group doesn’t make sense to the world.

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters — yes, even his own life! — he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.” ~Luke 14:26-27

We’re called by Jesus to break free from all the ties of society, he wants us to shake loose from this world’s way of thinking and doing so we can live in this radically new kind of life as a follower of Jesus.

And we do it together.

As disciples, we’re called to forgive others as Jesus forgave us. That means we have to forgive everybody, even people who hate us and want to do us harm. We’re called to suffer and serve instead of use our power and influence to get our way. We’re told to give up our freedom and rights, not fight to preserve them. We’re called to turn the other cheek, to walk the extra mile, to willingly die to ourselves every day. And that is so opposite of what everybody in the world besides Jesus is saying, that we can’t do this by ourselves. We have to do it together.

That’s Church. That’s us. Together. Committed to his vision of Becoming Like Christ for the Sake of  __________.

This world, especially our culture here in the West, has no use for a philosophy or a position that puts others first. David Hume, the Enlightenment Age philosopher who was so influential in the mid 1700’s during the forming of the United States, wrote and spoke continually about the age of reason and logic, the age of the individual. This sample is from his Enquiry Into Morals:

“Fasting, penance, self-denial, humility, sacrifice, silence, solitude, and the whole train of monkish virtues — they are rejected everywhere by men of sense because they serve no manner of purpose. They do not advance a man’s fortune in the world, nor render him a more valuable member of society. They don’t aid him in entertaining company nor increase his power of self enjoyment. We observe, on the contrary, that they all oppose these desirable ends. These practices stupefy the understanding and harden the heart, obscure the fancy, and sour the temper.”

According to Hume and the foundational thoughts that formed this country, the highest purpose of human life is happiness and the well-being of the individual. Everything that might distract from that happiness or compromise that well-being has to be avoided.

Picking up a cross and becoming like Christ makes no sense to our world. It’s incomprehensible. Being crucified with Christ doesn’t compute. Losing your life for the sake of the Gospel sounds silly. But for children of God and disciples of Jesus, this is our calling.

Peace,

Allan

Short Week

It’s Tuesday. Feels like Monday. Tomorrow’s Wednesday. And I’m running behind. We concluded our “Marriage Matters” sermon series on Sunday with “Sex and Marriage.” I’d like to reproduce a lot of that sermon in a series of three or four posts here in this space, but it’s probably not going to happen this week. Stay tuned.

In the meantime, let me share a couple of links with you.

Erica Grieder has written a column in the current Texas Monthly about the San Antonio Spurs, claiming that they are not only the best franchise in the NBA, but the best professional sports team in the history of the state of Texas. She makes a pretty good case and she taunts Cowboys fans with a parenthetical “Prove me wrong!” You can read her column by clicking here.

Jim Martin has written an excellent post about being grateful on his blog “God Hungry.” As always, he makes a point that hurts: sometimes we say “Thank you” to everybody in our lives except the people we love the most. You can click here to read his post.

RangersTrip2016Group

We took our annual Central Boys Night Out trip to the Ballpark in Arlington last Friday to see the home team get clobbered by the Pirates. Didn’t much matter; we had an absolute blast. Dale won the homerun pool, I took home the double-play pot, and Speck lucked into the final-out bucks. Lou went to his first big league game, Andy wore an orange bandana around his neck, and we made Greg wear an Adrian Beltre shirt. We also learned that if you’re a cop, like Doug, you don’t have to go through the security line like everybody else. On the way we saw where Bruce grew up in Quanah, and on the way back we quietly lamented the idiocy that would destroy the baseball temple in Arlington and rebuild it next door with a retractable roof. And we all ate for the cycle.

Peace,

Allan

Singles and the Church

SingleLane

Married couples with kids need the support of the Church. They deserve the support of the Church. But unmarried people do, too. Big time. Our singles are practicing celibacy in a culture that can’t even comprehend the concept. Our singles are struggling with the fact that fewer and fewer people are getting married and with the idea that their hopes for a spouse and children might possibly go unfulfilled. Our singles are fighting loneliness and trying to live good, responsible lives. And in the middle of all that, they’re also dealing with the ways the Church can make them feel like they don’t belong. Church has to be a lifeline of support for our singles, not an anchor dragging them down.

“In Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.” ~Romans 12:5

God’s Church is not a civic club or a special interest organization. There is a bond between Christians that is stronger than any other connection — stronger than blood, stronger than race, stronger than country. Ephesians 2 says in Christ we are fellow citizens with God’s people and members of God’s household. Family.

That means single people in a strong Christian community can and should experience family relationships, especially sibling-type relationships between brothers and sisters. But they can also benefit from the love and support of close relationships with members of the opposite sex.

My wife, Carrie-Anne, makes me a better person. Being in an intimately close relationship with her, just being around her, makes me more like Christ. She is not like me. We are very, very different from each other. She thinks differently, she acts differently, she sees and understands things differently. She’s operating on a whole ‘nother level! Sometimes I get into a tough spot at work or into a rough patch with a daughter or a weird place with a neighbor and I think, “What would Carrie-Anne do?” Now, I don’t ask that when I’m on the baseball field or driving in heavy traffic. But I do occasionally try to imagine Carrie-Anne’s response. She’s more careful and much more thoughtful than I am. She’s more gracious and compassionate than I am. And she is slowly rubbing off on me. I do the right thing, the Christ-like thing, more now than before we got married. I’ve got a broader range of possible words and actions. Sometimes I can look at life the way Carrie-Anne does and I’ve got a greater spectrum of responses. I’m more likely to honor my Lord in my behavior.

That’s one of the ways Carrie-Anne and I complete each other and reflect the glory of God together. But that’s not something only married people can do. This kind of thing happens pretty naturally in a strong Christian community where we share our hearts and our lives and experience together what God is teaching us and how he is shaping us and growing us into the image of Jesus.

The Church is not a family-training center in which people who don’t fit the nuclear family model get pushed to the sides. Jesus calls all people to his table without distinction. And the Spirit says all gifts are equal.

Peace,

Allan

Singleness is a Gift

SingleCoffee

“I wish that all people were as I am. But each person has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.” ~1 Corinthians 7:7

A lot of people think Paul is talking about someone having no interest in marriage or having no desire for a sexual relationship with a spouse. So people who have this gift of singleness from God have no struggle, there’s no desire to get married. That’s why when we read the above verse we make a joke about it; a very loud and demonstrative joke: “Well, I sure don’t have THAT gift!!!”

Remember, every time Paul uses the word “gift” he’s talking about something from God that’s intended to build up others. If you’re single, your gift of singleness is not for you. It’s not to make you good so that everything’s great in your life. Your gift of singleness is so others around you can be good. So you can serve and minister in ways that married people can’t.

Maybe Paul wanted to be married. Have you ever wondered about that? Maybe Paul tried to get married. Maybe he had three accounts on Christian Mingle dot com and he hung out every day at Hobby Lobby. I don’t know. But he was single. And in his singleness, Paul lived a life of ministry and service to God and others. He took advantage of his single life, the time he had and the flexibility and freedom, to serve and minister in ways that changed the world.

When Paul calls singleness a “gift,” he’s not saying it’s super easy or that it’s really miserable. Yes, there are struggles. But God’s Spirit works through those struggles to help you grow in Christ and bear fruit in the lives of others. So, being single is not just a gift for a select few. And it’s not necessarily a gift for life. But it is a gift and it’s intended for the sake of others.

Peace,

Allan

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