I spent parts of three days with Val and Dave and the twins this past weekend and it was beyond a blast. Sammy is still content to crawl around on the floor while Elliott walks laps all over the house. But Sam’s got a new dance move, an impressive shoulder-shimmy he does on command, that is stealing Elliott’s thunder right now. They’re both big enough now to ride on my shoulders while we walk around downtown Tulsa, which is really cool. And they both love to wrestle with me on the couch, they love getting slammed into throw pillows and smashed into couch cushions.
Yesterday at GCR we preached the second sermon in our “Marriage Matters” series: “The Essence of Marriage.” Here’s the video that introduced the sermon, featuring our very own Brat Pack of GCR’s celebrity brides and grooms. The music bed at the very beginning is super loud, but after those first ten seconds, you’ll need to really crank up the volume.
The essence of marriage is the wedding vow, the eternal promise, the legal oath—the thing that makes our marriages covenant relationships and not consumer relationships. And that’s the thing that creates the space for love to truly grow.
When you’re dating or “living together,” you have to constantly be “on.” You have to prove every day that you’re worth it. You have to always impress and entice. You have to prove that the chemistry’s there. Again. You have to prove that the relationship is fun and fulfilling. Again. Or it might be over. When you’re dating or “living together” you’re still in a consumer relationship. You’re having to constantly promote and market yourself.
The legal bond of marriage, however, creates a safe space of security and unconditional love and acceptance so we can relax and open up and finally reveal our true selves.
When the vows are made, we can be vulnerable, we don’t have to pretend anymore. We don’t have to keep selling ourselves. We can lay our defenses down and be completely naked, physically and in every other way.
If love between a husband and wife is going to be everything God wants it to be, you have to have that vow. It’s the only way true love can really grow.
I’m not going anywhere. Relax. It’s you and me. Forever. I promise.
That’s the way Jesus loves you. “Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” I’m not going anywhere. Relax. It’s you and me. Forever. I promise.
The wedding vow guarantees that we’re safe together. We can be ourselves with each other and neither one of us has to worry about whether we’re loved and accepted. We are! We got married! We signed government documents! We made vows to each other and to God in front of his holy witnesses!
We can be our true selves with each other and grow together honestly and authentically. The vows give us that space.
Peace,
Allan
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